gggggggggrrrrrrrrr

Hello...

I've realised I haven't written in a while...

To be honest I have been finding things difficult and am at a strange place...feeling a bit lost, I have no idea where I am going or of anything ahead at the minute andhave been scared...

I want so badly to believe in God's deep promises and to believe them deeply in me, in my life and to have ruthless trust...i feel that God is doing good things through it all though...

I just have to keep laying it all down again and again and rely on Jesus, it really isn't about me and I need Jesus to intervene, i feel like Zaccheus or someone right at the end of themselves, which is good, but difficult too! i don't feel in a place to be counselling other people, but i start on wednesday!

mum has been praying with me and encouraging me to pray God's promises over my life and that it is time to really believe and to ask and to seek God like I've never done before..a good thing!

I've realised too that i don't like the way it's easy to lose community and accountability...I know how desperately i want to be meeting with others and seeking together...really delving deep, no more shallow stuff...


if anyone is in the same position please let me know...let's get into the havbit of meeting!

I've been thinking about Jabez too and how he left his name, meaning "pain," behind and asked for blessing, asked to have his territory enlarged and that god would take him out of his pain...that it would no longer be who he was...

Mum was telling me a story about a man who met another man at church and asked his name...

the man said, " never mind,'

No, I'd love to know what you're real name is, it does matter!

My name is never mind!


how thankful am I that my parents did'nt name me a name that didn't matter, ho much more do we matter to God...

please that sink in Lord...please, let it be real to us how much you love us and may we then be able to pass that love on...

ciao